This is another Write on Edge piece. The prompt this week was “salt water” In this piece of fiction, the salt water was to be used to solve a problem:
Hunter awoke from deep sleep as a ray of light played across his eyes. After a long stretch, he sat up in bed, casting his gaze toward the bay window. The skies were clear. The sun already shone brightly at 6:30 on this Saturday morning. Today was the day. Hunter cast aside the cobwebs in his mind and lunged from his bed, anxious to awaken his roommate, Cal.
They shared an over-priced flat that looked out over San Francisco’s Ocean Beach. The price they paid in rent, the endless days of fog and gray skies, they were all worthwhile when they got a clear day like today. They both liked to make the most of it; a run in the sand, a game of Frisbee, a lay out in the sun, it didn’t matter.
The beach was empty this early, too cold to lay out, but a rollicking game of Frisbee sounded just about right to them both and they played hard. Suddenly, Hunter let out a shout of disgust. “Why don’t people clean up after their dogs?” he groused to Cal as he hopped on one foot, not wanting to step on the crap again.
Cal approached his friend and after ducking under Hunter’s arm helped him to the water’s edge. “Here,” he said, “use the water to wash off.” As Hunter splashed in the water and rubbed his soiled foot on the sand, Cal stared out at the rolling waves.
Hunter looked at his friend. When he saw Cal’s posture, squinted eyes, head thrust forward at the waters, he asked, “What is it?” He turned toward the sea, “What are you looking at?”
“Look,” Cal said, pointing at the tumbling form, approaching through the froth. “What is that?”
Soon, their questions were answered as the body, broken and battered, washed ashore, near their feet.
11 thoughts on “Write On Edge: Salt Water”
Ooooohhhh, I’m intrigued! I want to know more!
LOVE a good mystery.. Very unexpected. Run with this, it’s a very good start.
Oh, I was right there with them. Great beginning – you hooked me for sure!
Is there anything in SF that isn’t overpriced? 😉
I really like where you went with this, and that he stepped in crap first. It made the moment of finding the body that much grittier.
Very intriguing!! I love what you did with this prompt.
Thanks, everyone, for your kind words. This was an interesting prompt for me; and even more interesting result.
This takes the lead character and one of the second leads from my first (as yet unpublished) novel and it sets the stage for my second (as yet unwritten) novel. It was fun to bring a touch of the first manuscript into this one, even though the second one won’t actually be about those characters. (Though one never knows when they might pop their heads in again…)
Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Oh my gosh… I did NOT see that coming. That was an awesome twist, and I definitely would love to read more if you chose to continue this piece.
Great piece but really, you can’t just hook us all with that and than leave us hanging! So many unanswered questions and questions always need answers.
What a great twist! Definitely a good hook for a novel.
Great hook, just a couple of guys, a beach, some dog poo and a body. Yay SF! Of course, now that I’ve read the comments, I want to know who the real protag is!
Well I could tell you, but that would spoil the surprise… 🙂