… or you guys are going to give up on me and just assume I’ve lost my mind.
That may not be all that far from the truth.
I just don’t really know what to say anymore.
One day last week after class, Mr. Williams and I were talking about some of the students. Many of these “kids” are not doing as well as they should be, and for the first time, I’m beginning to see a little bit of wisdom in the way Mr. Williams approached things with my class. I don’t think he needed to be quite so much of an asshole as he was, but he has been super easy on this class and now they’re paying the price. They didn’t have all the pressure on them that we had, because he wasn’t so demanding and because he only did two chapters a week instead of three and now they are scrambling, on their own time, to get through the rest of the reading before their final which is this Wednesday.
We spent the last three class sessions doing skills tests. Since I am a certified EMT I can do the testing and I have done all of the Trauma Assessment tests thus far. Not everyone has tested, but most of them have and of the ones that tested, most of them failed. Even the class brainiacs who I expected to do well, failed the test. In some cases, it was on a technicality. Judy failed because she didn’t initiate high-flow oxygen for her patient (well, pretend to anyway.) She said that she didn’t feel that her patient needed oxygen since he was not showing signs of respiratory distress, and technically she’s right, but, it’s right on the testing sheet that “failed to initiate high-flow oxygen for the patient” is an automatic fail and we’ve been stressing this with the students all semester. She gets a second chance to take the test and she’ll do just fine, but she should have passed the first time.
We lost half the class at the midterm because they didn’t pass the test, I’m not sure that all of the rest of them will pass the final and all their skills tests. Last Wednesday, they were all afraid to come to me for their Trauma Assessment test because everyone who took it on Monday failed. That wasn’t my doing, it was theirs, but of course I have the reputation of being the guy who fails everybody. I was very glad that most of the people who did take in on Wednesday passed so now they know it wasn’t me.
Tonight, I am conducting a review for the final and they take the final on Wednesday. Next week we will finish skills testing and then this class will be over. It feels like it went so fast; much faster than my class.
I’m kind of glad it’s ending. I’m tired of having to run from work to school two nights a week. I’ve given up a lot of my personal time to meet with students and help them practice skills. Most of the one’s I have helped, have passed the skills and so it makes me unhappy that the rest of them didn’t take advantage of the opportunities that were presented. But I’ll be glad to have my time back. On the other hand, it makes me kind of sad because I don’t know when I’ll get the opportunity to make use of my knowledge and skills and I don’t want it to fade away.
I’m working on my resume, something I’m not skilled at and I’m waiting for some feedback from some people on it. Once that’s done, I’ll start applying to jobs and see what comes of it. I still don’t know how I’m going to support myself working in this field, but maybe if I just try it’ll work out.
I want to try to make a “teaching” resume as well, and I’d like to see if I can’t work part-time as a safety trainer; maybe with the company my employer uses, maybe with the Red Cross, maybe with another entity I don’t yet know about, I don’t know. I just know that I need to make a change.