Have I already bitten off more than I can chew? Hmmm. I wonder.
The Fat Mum Slim Photo-A-Day prompt for January 2nd is “Starts with G” which seems simple enough. Who can’t find plenty of things that start with the letter G? Only, I ended up with eight photos, all of things from around the house. I actually took more than eight, but after I downloaded them and did some basic editing in iPhoto, I realized some of them were no good so I deleted them. Actually several of the ones I deleted were duplicates of the ones I saved (’cause you always take multiple pictures in order to get the good one, right? Right.)
Anyway, after staying up most of the night last night, and accidentally sleeping all day today, followed by going out for dinner with a friend and not getting home until around 9:00, I didn’t have a lot of time for taking pictures. Here’s what I came up with:
First up is my swim goggles. I wore these goggles twice a week, nearly every week from August to December as I took the “Fundamentals of Swimming” class at the local Community College. I nearly drowned twice before I was six years old, once in the Pacific Ocean when a large wave crashed ashore, knocked me over and then began to drag me back out to sea as it receded and again at my father’s apartment complex when I fell into the deep end of the swimming pool. On both occasions my father immediately pulled me to safety, but the experiences traumatized me enough that for a long time I was afraid of the water altogether, and once I got over that, I was not willing to get into any water where I could not see the bottom and could not stand up. I finally decided it was time to conquer my fears and to learn a means of exercise that I would actually enjoy doing. After one semester of swim classes, I can safely say “I know how to swim”, but I’m not very good at it and I still haven’t gotten into water in which I can’t stand up. The next session starts up on January 22nd and I hope to make vast improvements during this next class.
Anyway, after each class, I would bring my bag home from the pool and unpack my gear, take my goggles into the bathroom to rinse them off and hang them from my bed post to air dry and be ready for the next class. They have been hanging from that post since early December because I haven’t been in a pool since the class ended. Along with the new piercing I vaguely (or not so vaguely) eluded to the other day, I also have a new tattoo I’ll share about sometime later. Both instances of “body modification” needed to be mostly healed before going into a public swimming pool, essentially exposing “open wounds” to the potential soup of other peoples’ bacteria we’d all prefer not to think about when we go for a swim.
The next two pictures go hand in hand. One is my glasses. I made a very unspecific reference to these when posting something completely unrelated several weeks back, but as of mid-October, I am officially a full-time glasses wearer. I picked these glasses while my eyes were still dilated which is certainly a risky proposition. I had some assistance from one of the opticians in the vision center, but I wasn’t completely sure what I’d be getting when I went back a week later to pick them up. I must have done a fairly good job, because when I arrived at work later that day, no one seemed to even notice that anything was different, as if I’d had the glasses all along.
The other picture is of a mirror that hangs behind my front door. The mirror has hooks along the bottom from which I have always hung my sunglasses. I have multiple pairs so that I could always match the color and style to the clothes I was wearing that day. The sunglasses have been rendered somewhat obsolete by the introduction of the glasses in the picture above and a pair of prescription sunglasses.
Some of the other pictures I took are pretty self explanatory. A few G words around my kitchen:
Gas flame from my stove.
Double Gs: Green glass sweet and dry vermouth bottles in my bar. And a bonus G: The green label on the back of the Apple Puckers bottle you can just see on the bottom right side.
And a green Starbuck’s label on the front of a plastic reusable cold drink tumbler with a green, plastic, reusable straw. Heck it’s even “green” in the environmental sense. Boom! Triple Gs!
In my bathroom, there is grout between the 12 x 12 marble tiles that make up my floor and shower surround.
And finally, still starting with G, the kind of “green” we all know and love, money. As a Bartender, I come into possession of many small bills so this is not a terribly large some of money, it’s just the money I had left in my pocket when I came home tonight.
In planning this post I thought about a recounting of all the holes in my body… Well, the holes God did not give me, anyway.
Do you care that I passed out cold when I got my left ear pierced in 1993? Or that I was so nervous that it would happen again that when I got my right ear pierced in 2001, I sat on the piercing stool for at least five minutes after the job was done while Heather went to pay? (It was her idea. She said I needed to be “balanced out”, so she paid for it.) I did not pass out, FYI. Do you care that when I finally made up my mind to get my upper ear pierced, something I had wanted to do for years but had been too afraid, both of the pain and of my mother, that it didn’t actually happen until just four years ago, after going to Tulsa to take care of my mother, post surgery, and coming face to face with her disdain (which wasn’t as bad as I expected) for my then three tattoos (I now have four and have an appointment for my fifth on Tuesday), I was still anxious. I felt liberated and able to do whatever I wanted so I went for it, but I was still nervous. And, well, you Probably don’t want Any of the details of my fourth and most recent piercing; one very few people will ever see.
Then I thought about a post discussing the number of men not named “Riggledo” who have touched my favorite appendage (hint, the answer is three– no make that four. I have to assume my father changed a diaper or two… No… actually, that’s five – I just remembered a trip to the doctor…) Anywhoo… Only one of those five men was neither related to me, nor was he being Paid, And oh look we’re talking about The Guy and I’ve failed, again. There’s no need at this stage of things to go into that story. It was risky and stupid, and in the end, quite possibly the least pleasant of all the experiences, and that’s including the man who, just two days ago, touched it TO POKE A HOLE THROUGH IT….
So much for vague allusions…
But the simple truth is, all of these things do directly lead back to the idea of facing one’s fears. You see, I was afraid to do any of these things, or write any of these posts. In the end, I decided not to write the story of my most recent Piercing, And I decided not to write the story of the “special massage” I got a week ago, before which I was quite nervous though simultaneously tremendously excited.
(It was actually a really incredible experience which I can’t wait to repeat and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before – so much more… better.. than I imagined. So incredible, in fact, that I had no inclination to try to recreate the experience on my own before going to the body piercing shop on Monday… Something which, judging by the aching in my dangly bits, I should probably have planned out better…)
Even the simple act of writing this post, in place of the other two, was something I was afraid to do. I’ve put it off for two days because I feared who might see it and how they might react. But the simple fact is, we have to do what’s right for ourselves. I’ve just finished a six week class I’ll probably write more about later. It’s an “anger management” class, though most people who are acquainted with me and hear that, can’t imagine why I would take such a class. The truth is, I felt very out of place, but I needed to be there and I did learn some things from the class, the most relevant of which, at this moment, is the importance of taking care of one’s self first and foremost.
The fact is, there are people who will read this who will wish they hadn’t. (Some of those people are unwelcome here and should have stopped reading, should have “unsubscribed” from the e-mails, as soon as they read Reclamation. They lack either self respect, or a shred of human decency, or a combination of the two, and therefore, continue to receive and read these posts in their e-mails. I can’t be bothered to concern myself with such people and their reactions.) The fear which I had to face was the idea of someone who matters thinking less of me for what I’ve had to say. The act of writing this post is me over-coming that fear. It’s a step in the right direction.
It has been much too long since I’ve written here. Part of the reason I haven’t written is because I’m not good at short and sweet, to-the-point posts and so what ought to be a quick few minutes to write, ends up being a couple of hours to write, edit, read, preview and re-read, and re-edit a crazy long-winded post, and I just keep putting it off which only serves to make them longer.
I’m going to try to be brief with this post, though I make no promises…
I’m not even sure if I had decided on this when I wrote my last post, but I am now on vacation not to return to work until Monday, August 30, 2010. I put in my request to my manager for my vacation and he approved it and then sent me an e-mail telling me that he wanted me to be very involved in this month-long event in September that would require me to do all my planning and purchasing and compiling in half the time that everyone else has to get ready, all the while dealing with the group who is actually hosting the event but didn’t want to share any of their information. It came down to the wire, but I believe I have everything ready now… I hope. If not, I’ll have two days when I get back to work to take care of it. No pressure there.
I decided to take this vacation, really a stay-cation, because I have been exhausted for weeks, staying up too late, having to get up early in the morning, and upon learning of this event, staying much too late at work. My life has gotten out of kilter and I desperately needed to right it again, and with my class start date looming, I really wanted to get a handle on things before hand.
I never made it to the gym all of last week, with the pressure I had to have my work in order before my vacation. I was surprised to see how much I missed that. I have to admit that while there was so much pressure and trepidation about the locker room when I first started going during the day, I now enjoy it and having a break from my work while I take care of myself. Except for last week, I have been more consistent with going to the gym since I started the mid-day routine than ever before. And I even enjoy taking a shower in the locker room there. It’s a refresher in the middle of the work-day and it’s liberating to have gotten over my fears. (Plus it saves on my water bill at home.)
On Friday, I did finally take a little break from the work craziness to have coffee with my friend John (John H). Saturday was laundry day and Sunday I hung out with Lil’B. It was still rather chilly and I had designs on going to the movies. We haven’t yet seen Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. I’m a BIG kid and I love those kinds of movies so I’ve been looking forward to it since I saw the first previews. When I arrived at Lil’B’s house I asked him what he wanted to do that day and he said, “Miniature Golf.” Hmmm. OK.
So we went to play miniature golf while I was dressed/prepared for a chilly movie theater. Green “painters” pants (green pants with deliberately laid out paint spots on the front) and a black t-shirt. The jean jacket got left in the car. There was no sun screen. One of these days I’ll learn to bring along the sun screen just in case. The weather was actually quite nice where the mini-golf place was.
After I dropped Lil’B off, I went over to my friends John H and John M’s house. I think it’s cute that they both are named John, but John H says they always know who is being addressed. (I have to admit that I once had a passing crush on a guy named Kevin and thought it would’ve been funny if we’d ended up together. Then again, I was also engaged to a girl named Kerri and she thought it was “too sweet” that we would be Kevin and Kerri. She meant “too sweet” in a bad way.) The John’s and I had a wonderful dinner of Baked Ziti and Sourdough bread with an incredible blueberry and cherry tart that “John threw together while I was in the shower,” John H told me. I left at about 10:30 and called it a night.
One of my objectives for this time off work is to get my body clock back on a decent schedule. If I plan to continue to go to the gym during the work day and still work 8-ish hours, I’ve got to do better about getting to work “on time-ish”, especially on class days. So I wasn’t too dismayed by having scheduled DirecTV to come and install new service at my house “between 8 and noon” on Monday. Much to Mischa’s dismay, I pretty much went straight to bed when I got home and got up at 7:30 Monday morning. Not early enough, but it was a start. I won’t spend too much time harping on this, but DirecTV quite successfully managed to turn me from being a big fan/major proponent of their service to a stark hater who will tell everyone I ever meet (where the subject comes up) NEVER TO USE DIRECTV SERVICES, EVAR!!
Very quickly, I was a DirecTV customer for 5 years and canceled my service 6 months ago in favor of AT&T U-verse because of cost. I don’t really love the AT&T product and will still maintain that the actual product offered by DirecTV is better, but I will never use them again. Three years ago when I moved into my current home, the same day as my downstairs neighbors in this duplex moved in, I had the DirecTV service installed. My installer had been here and at work for about an hour before another installer showed up to do the installation for my downstairs neighbors. The two installers made the determination that they could provide both of us with service using only one satellite dish and splitting the signal between the two units. This made everyone (most of all, our landlady) happy. I explained this set-up to the operator when I placed the order to re-instate my service and he said it was great.
When the installer showed up here on Monday, at 11:55 he informed me that he could not do this but instead he had to install a second dish on the house. I told him that was not an option and he said he couldn’t do what I was asking. After speaking with the installer, and his supervisor, via telephone, and then a dispatcher in his office, I got conflicting answers about code regulations and DirecTV policy (the installation company is a third party) and various other, conflicting and contradictory reasons. Finally I called DirecTV directly and after explaining my situation six times and being told that they needed to transfer me to “The right department” I finally got one very pleasant young lady who took the time to investigate properly. After 52 minutes on the phone with DirecTV I was informed that they absolutely can do what I’m asking them to do, but that it’s at the discretion of the installation tech whether he will do it. The best advice she could give me was that I should call the installer back and tell them this. I was waiting for a call from a supervisor from that company anyway and when it hadn’t come in over 90 minutes (I told them I needed a call “right away” about what they planned to do because “my entire day is now on hold waiting for you”) I called them again.
I called the install company back and was disconnected right after they answered the phone. I called again and the phone rang twice and then there was nothing but static and crackling on the line. I called a third time and got an answer but the person sounded like he was across the room from the phone and the static and crackling were still there. I explained that I was expecting a call from the supervisor and he insisted on knowing what it was about before sending my information on. I explained the information I had gotten from DirecTV to him and then he seemed to disappear for a moment. When he came back I couldn’t understand what he was saying and the best I could come up with was that he was e-mailing the supervisor this information. After giving the operator an earful about how horrible their service is, how terrible their phone system is and how they’re making me question my decision to come back to DirecTV I told him that I expected the call from the supervisor within one hour. If I did not hear from him within one our I was going to cancel my order.
When one hour ended, I called DirecTV back for one sole purpose. I explained my entire situation, yet again, to “the right person” and I explained to her that I was just about finished. I told her that I was calling to cancel my order, but before I did, I wanted to give them one last-ditch opportunity to try to save my business, because based on my own experiences, I was of the opinion that DirecTV has the best product on the market and I had once been a satisfied DirecTV customer. She confirmed that everything I had been told was true but that it is up to the install company whether they would do it. She said that she could not order them to do the install the way I wanted. I made it very clear that if they didn’t I was going to cancel my order and she wasn’t going to budge. Finally, I said, “OK, well then let me give you my order number so you can cancel my order.” Without a flinch, or a hint of apology, she said, “Sure!” and put me on hold. A few minutes later she came back, told me the order was canceled and asked if there was anything else she could do for me. I said, “No! I’m just really disappointed to find that you don’t care any more than that to keep your customers.” Again, without an apology she said, “OK, have a nice day.”
I guess that wasn’t so brief, but you know me, once I get started…
The one bright point to that story is that while I was waiting for the installer and arguing with the people on the phone, I also made a huge dent in the mess that is my apartment. I went through a bunch of papers and disposed of what I could, separating the rest to be filed away (which I still need to do). I did a little bit of organizing and putting stuff away. I really made a good start. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get started again since.
Tuesday, I got up with a plan. I was out of bed by 6:45. I spent the morning, taking care of some computer stuff I needed to do, while mentally planning my day. I was going to leave home by 10:30 to go to the gym, spend 45 minutes doing cardio, take a shower (I wanted to compare the locker room and showers to the gym by my office) and then head toward my therapists office in Berkeley for our 2:00 appointment, getting lunch along the way. I got a late start leaving for the gym. I was all ready to go when… My coffee kicked in. There are few things I hate more than pooping at the gym so I was late heading out. I got to the gym at about 12:20 and by the time I found a locker, and unpacked my gym bag, I really only had about 20 minutes for my cardio before I had to take my shower. I went back into the locker room at about 1:05 and was dressed and leaving the gym by 1:30.
When I got into the car, I noticed I had a voice mail on my cell phone. It was Deb, wondering where I was since I was 15 minutes late for our 1:00 appointment. I called her back, but of course there was no way I was going to arrive before our hour was up. I mentioned something to her about how I had it at 1:00 in my calendar, but in my mind it was “at our regular time of 2:00.” She pointed out that 1:00 is our regular time, which, of course, it is… Vacation brain fart! One hundred dollars down the drain.
I headed to Berkeley anyway, because I had other plans for after our appointment. After a quick stop off at Taco Bell, I went to the tattoo shop where I got my last piece done to look through their books for inspiration and to ask about piercing. They don’t do piercing and I didn’t find any inspiration in their books, but they did refer me to another tattoo shop a mile up the street that does piercing, and with only a minimal amount of trepidation, and after many months (years) of consideration, I had this done:
The upper one. Obviously my lobe has been done for a while. They said this will take 2-3 months to heal, but once it does, I’ll replace the stud with some sort of hoop. The piercing itself really didn’t hurt, despite what I’d been told by some. It was a little more tender after I left the shop, a kind of delayed reaction, but that didn’t really last all that long and then it was fine. It’s a little ouchy while doing the cleaning routine, but for the most part I can’t even feel it, unless I bump it accidentally (doesn’t even hurt to lie on it at night. Even the back of the post doesn’t poke into my head, which I thought it would.)
Today, I– Well, I ended up sort of wasting the day. I got up at 6:30 and putted around the house for a while, taking care of social networking stuff and doing my daily Fish Wrangler tournament. I watched an episode of Glee and then I headed out around 10:00 for a… personal grooming appointment… followed by a small amount of shopping and lunch. Even less shopping than I had planned since I had the good sense to check the status of my checking account before I spent too much money.
So that gets us all caught up. Sorry my vacation stories aren’t more exciting….
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and, somehow, soak my ear in salt water (part of the cleaning regimen.) This should be entertaining!