Rhaps-head-y In Blue

I may try and get down to the heart of the matter (heh) tomorrow, but for today, I’m too tired and too short on time.

We had the first day of our semi-annual fire drills today and as you may recall from last October, this keeps me pretty busy all morning.  You may recall from last time that it has been unusual for us to get the same fire fighters here twice.  You might also recall that I had a little bit of a melt down last time when much to my surprise, not only did I recognize the fire fighters that were here, but one of them was of particular relevance and I’m not going to go into all that here and now, I’m just going to say that if you don’t know what I’m talking about and you care, click on that little drop down over there –> and click on October, 2009.  Then check out, I don’t know… say, the middle of the month.  The week where, apparently, I had a lot to say.  And then come back here.  Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you get done.

~~~

You back?  OK.

Anyway, today we had the same familiar faces.  Yes “he” was here again.  It was fine though.  My boss actually assigned a different fire fighter to work with me this time so I barely saw Jesse anyway.  And even if Jesse had been with me, I’m over it.  I’m through being so childish and worked up over the whole thing.

Still there was a moment when I became self conscious.  Jesse came ambling down a hallway after one of the segments and approached where I was standing with a crowd of relocated employees and the Fire Fighter that was working with me.  Along the way he dropped his copy of the drill schedule.  He picked it up right away and jokingly, I said, “No littering!”  He responded that he picked it up right away and that he wasn’t littering.  He wasn’t mean about it, but he didn’t sound like he was playing along (at least not to me) and naturally, I read all kinds of not very friendly meaning into it.  Whatever.

But then, he walked on past me to the Fire Fighter I was working with and they stood there having a hushed conversation that I couldn’t hear any of.  I made a deliberate point of not paying attention and as a result I don’t know if there were any glances my way or any gesturing but, naturally, I started imagining what he might have had to say.  I let it go and went on about my business and when Jesse left us in search of my boss, the Fire Fighter I was working with didn’t behave any differently than he had before.  Whatever.

Later, after another segment of the drills, we were on the sidewalk outside and Jesse asked me a question about the building systems and the door to our loading dock.  He commented that last time they were here (last October for those who’ve already lost track) the loading dock door was open and now it’s not.  I commented that either he had a really good memory or they don’t do this observation thing very often.  He smiled and gestured in such a way as to say, “Hey, this is me we’re talking about.  I’m the best!” because I’ve come to see that he has that kind of personality.  I said, “Wait what was I thinking? Of course you have a great memory.”  (Let’s hope not.) And I smiled back.  This time he was being playful and that suggests that he was being playful earlier and I just didn’t see it.

Whatever.  It doesn’t matter.  I’m done worrying about such things.

The fire drills were not particularly eventful, just tiring.  Unfortunately, once they were over, I had another tiring walk ahead of me.

When I started shaving my head, I started using a product line called Head Blade, which I love.  The name, not the product.  Well the product too, but the name is great because it reminds me of one of my favorite random movie quotes:  When a Man Loves a Woman.  Andy Garcia, stopping at his daughter’s school to talk to her about him moving to Colorado, she holds something up to him and he asks her what it is as he delicately takes it from her and puts it down behind him, out of sight.  She tells him it’s a bug box and he says, “I like a name that tells you what it is.”

Head Blade is definitely a name that tells you what it is.  They’re just a bit risqué too.  The products all play with the word head.  Head Wash, a product for washing your head.  Head Scrub, an exfoliating product for, well, scrubbing your head.  Head Slick, a shaving lotion… ya know, for your head.  Two varieties of Head Lube, matte and glossy, a moisturizer for, you guessed it, your head.  There’s also Clear Head, Head Shade and Head Wipes and I’m just going to quit now while I’m, ahem, ahead.

You can buy all this stuff on their website, but then you have to pay shipping and handling and wait several days for your loot.  There are a very few stores that sell a very limited amount of their product line and that leads us back around to my long walk today.  One of the few places I know that sell any of the Head Blade product line is a Rite-Aid on Broadway, here in Downtown Oakland.  It’s nine blocks away and close to an alley of sorts with a whole mess of restaurants with pretty decent offerings.

I have been postponing a journey down that direction for a while and as a result, my dwindling bottle of Head Wash made that “hey lunk head you should’ve bought some more by now” farting noise this morning when I squeezed some of the slimy green goo into the palm of my hand.  I decided that I would take the long hike down to “civic center” to buy more Head Wash and get lunch.  I was craving nachos and there is a La Salsa at that end of the world so I figured what the heck.

I hoofed it all that way and actually accidentally bi-passed the Rite-Aid so I went to get my food first and then,  as I was heading back to the drug store, I heard some not very pretty music coming from across the street.  In my usual 20/20 hind-sight I realize, I should have taken a picture with my iPhone because what I saw, actually caused me to double take.  There was a street performer playing a piano.

Let that sink in for a minute.

This guy was playing A PIANO.  A full on, not-electric, standard, upright piano.  I can’t even begin to imagine how you make a piano a street performing instrument.  But sure enough, there he was, with an upright piano.  I’m not positive but it sounded to me like he was playing Rhapsody In Blue… badly!

Anyway, I walked into the Rite-Aid to the aisle where they sell the Head Blade stuff and—WHAT!?!?!  There it was.  A row of Head Blade Razors, a row of Head Slick and a row of Head Lube, Matte finish…  No Head Wash.

I walked all that way, already tired from multiple trips up and down multiple flights of stairs, dodging irate, cursing homeless people, and random piano playing street performers, just to come back with a plate of soggy nachos and no Head Wash.  And now I still have to buy it on-line and pay the shipping and handling and wait ten days for it to arrive.  Meanwhile, that bottle is only going to fart at me one or two more times before it just becomes ridiculous to even try.

But on the plus side, I got plenty of cardio in today and now I don’t have to go to the gym tonight.

And I get to do it all again on Thursday.  Well not the walking 18 blocks for no good reason part, but the fire drill stair climbing part.

So I have work to do before I go home which is why I couldn’t get into a long post today (whoops!) and why you’re getting this brief report of odds and ends instead.  Please wait till you’ve turned away from this page to roll your eyes, thanks.

Right now, I would pay good money to take a nap, except I can’t because I have to save my money to pay for shipping and handling.

* Just to keep everything on the up and up, none of the products
or companies or products mentioned here has paid or otherwise
compensated me for these comments.