It’s All About the Cutefort

This has seemed at once the longest, and the shortest week-end in quite some time.  I stayed up Friday night till nearly 2:00 in the morning watching television only to sleep till about noon-thirty on Saturday.  I hate sleeping late on the week-ends because the day goes by so quickly when I do, but I also love sleeping late on the week-ends because it just feels so damn good!  Also because I slept so late, I didn’t do anything of any value whatsoever yesterday and I definitely don’t like that.

I was determined that today would be more productive and so even though I stayed up till nearly 1:30 in the morning again last night and even though I really didn’t feel like doing anything of any value again today, I forced myself out of bed at 10:30 this morning (still later than I would have preferred to have slept) and I took a shower and headed out.

Having not eaten since about 7:30 last night I went first to Arby’s, where I got a Medium roast beef and a Jamocha shake.  When I was young I used to love Arby’s and as I’ve aged that hasn’t changed, only they’re harder and harder to come by anymore.  There is one not far from the Target where I generally shop and I go there periodically when doing my Target shopping but lately their shake machine has been out of service.  Today I walked in and there the nefarious machine sat in all its functional glory!  After chowing down on my sandwich and shake I went on to Target to do my shopping, went on to CostCo for gas, and then to Lucky’s for some groceries.

It was at Lukcy’s that I saw something which, in my mind, defies explanation.  I came out of the produce section ready to go check out when a woman stepped, and I use that term loosely, into my path causing me to have to stop short.  Having stopped short I also had an opportunity to observe her.

This woman stood, or should I say, wobbled, in front of me as she looked at the aisle signs trying to determine where to find whatever item she was looking for.  She stood there wearing a dress with diagonal stripes of the brown family, each stripe about four inches wide and meeting at points before diagonally striping back down the other side.  The dress was reminiscent in my eyes of something from the 70’s (I imagine) and might have looked lovely on the right woman, with the right amount and placement of curves, but this woman had too many and in the wrong places and the dress did nothing to conceal or augment them.

But what really caught my attention was the boots.  This was not a woman of the vertically challenged variety to begin with but she was wearing pirates boots, with four inch heals that looked as if they were made of swizzle sticks.  She was in a state of perpetual motion as she didn’t seem capable of standing up-right and still on these heals.  As I walked past her I looked down to see that she was at no time standing directly on the heals but rather was constantly trying to regain her balance as the heals tilted to one side or the other.

I walked away, went to the self-check out where I proceeded to pay for my items and went out to my car to unload my cart and drive home.  As I was climbing into the driver’s seat of my SUV I looked up to see the same woman walking across in front of me to her own vehicle and I noticed that she was unable to walk normally and unable to take full strides but rather was stepping about 18 inches at a time and I just thought to myself, “I hope it was worth it!”

Now don’t misunderstand me.  I am absolutely a guy who wants to look the best I can, given what I have to work with, at all times.  I get that.  But what I do not understand is the female proclivity for “cuteness”.  Placing a higher priority on looking cute than being comfortable no matter what the cost is a concept that is lost on me.  I have gotten completely dressed for work and been on my way out the door when I realized something wasn’t comfortable enough to wear the whole day and therefore turned around and changed my clothes.

Watching this woman, it was clear that she was in pain.  It was obvious she was unable to stand up and walk like a normal person in these boots, so why, I ask you, WHY would she wear them?  I simply cannot understand the cute over comfort, style over substance philosophy by which so many women make their wardrobe choices.

I have to admit though, the sadistic part of me laughed the hardest when I realized that the car she was short-stepping her way to, was already occupied.  A man, I presume to be her husband, was in the driver’s side of the car waiting for her and I couldn’t help wonder how that conversation went down.  On what planet did it make sense to either one of them that he should sit outside in the car while she hobbled her way into and through the store to get the items they needed?

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