“For future reference, always assume I’ll be late,” he told me. “There should always be a 3o minute buffer.
Laura is graduating from college and her mother is having an “open house” for her tonight. I got the invitation from her mother, which seemed a little odd to me since I only met her once for about 10 minutes, but it’s a party for Laura and the invitation was to me, Micah and Judy. I accepted right away, even though I don’t know that I’ll stay very long. I’m making a lot of assumptions about what this thing is going to be like but I would think there will be a lot of Laura’s friends, Laura’s age, from her college, at this event. I won’t belong. That’s OK. Tomorrow is a laundry day and I don’t need to be out late tonight.
Judy called me out in the hall before class on Wednesday, ostensibly to have me sign a card she had gotten for Laura to go with a gift certificate, or something that we’re going in on together as a gift for Laura. The card was remarkably tacky and I kind of wish I hadn’t signed it but what’s done is done. While I was signing the card, Judy told me that she plans to ride BART tonight because she doesn’t want to have to drive in the traffic from where she works to where the party is. Admittedly, it’s a long way and since Judy doesn’t usually get off work until 6:00 it would be late before she gets there. “So I was thinking I could call you when I get there and you can come get me. I wouldn’t want Laura or her mom to have to leave the party.”
No, you’d just like to assume that I’ll be at your beck and call and won’t mind having to leave the party.
I got a text from her this morning telling me that it looked like she’d be getting off work around 4:00 instead of 6:00 “which should help my commute time.” A few minutes later I got a text from Micah asking “Would I be able to trouble you for a ride tonight?”
I struggle with these things. I really don’t want to play taxi service or chauffeur. I don’t really mind driving Micah to the party if he’s ready when I am because he’s near by and I’m going there anyway, but…
I sent a reply to them both, “OK. Here’s the deal. I’m planning on leaving work right at 5:00 and heading to Laura’s mother’s house. I’m also not planning on staying particularly long as I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.
“Micah IF you can be at my office AT 5:00 you can ride with me. Otherwise you’ll have to figure out another way.
“Judy, I think you should drive. you’re gonna want to stay later than I will and so will Micah, probably. You’ll both need a way home that won’t be me.”
Judy replied to tell me, “Laura said she’d come get me, but I didn’t want her to have to leave the party. So, I’ll just call you when I am getting close to see if you are willing to pick me up. If not, again, no worries.” So now if I don’t come pick her I’m the dick who “made” Laura leave her own graduation party to come pick up the person who couldn’t be bothered to take care of her own needs.
Micah’s response was that I should assume that he will be late and that there should be a 30 minute buffer. “I assume you did that,” he added. “I always assume I can get anywhere in 5 minutes.”
“No, I told you the real time that’s why ‘IF’ and ‘AT’ were in caps. In that case, be here at 4:00,” I told him.
I do not get this mentality. I absolutely respect people who can speak up for themselves and their own needs (clearly I’m not especially good at it.) But it is so not OK to inconvenience other people with those needs.
I told Micah, he needed to be here by 5:00 and that he should let me know when he gets here because by then I could genuinely forget about him. I also told him if he wasn’t here by 5:00 I would leave without him and he’d have to find his own way. Even still I fully expect a call from him a few minutes before 5:00 telling me he’s running late. I’ll decide then if I’m going to wait for him (probably.) I also told him he’d have to find his own way home and he’s fine with it.
If Judy wants me to give her a ride, she should be at my office at 5:00 as well, except that means she’d have to leave work at 3:00 and she might as well just drive herself. At some point it all just becomes ridiculous! Judy’s solution to finding her own way home is to have Laura, or Laura’s mother, take her back to the BART station.
Am I being unreasonable? I’m not perfect. I know I’ve made requests of Michelle that were inconvenient but I have tried to limit that to rides to the airport and taking me to the hospital and staying with me when I had surgery. And only because I have no one else around here to ask for such things. Beyond that, I really try to take care of my own needs. Is it unreasonable to expect everyone else to do the same?
Updated: The moment I hit send on this post I headed out to get some lunch because I had less than an hour before my next meeting and I hadn’t eaten yet. I told K, “I’m going to go get some lunch before I run out of time.”
She said, “Ooo. Where’re you going? Will you get me some fries?”
It has been much too long since I’ve written here. Part of the reason I haven’t written is because I’m not good at short and sweet, to-the-point posts and so what ought to be a quick few minutes to write, ends up being a couple of hours to write, edit, read, preview and re-read, and re-edit a crazy long-winded post, and I just keep putting it off which only serves to make them longer.
I’m going to try to be brief with this post, though I make no promises…
I’m not even sure if I had decided on this when I wrote my last post, but I am now on vacation not to return to work until Monday, August 30, 2010. I put in my request to my manager for my vacation and he approved it and then sent me an e-mail telling me that he wanted me to be very involved in this month-long event in September that would require me to do all my planning and purchasing and compiling in half the time that everyone else has to get ready, all the while dealing with the group who is actually hosting the event but didn’t want to share any of their information. It came down to the wire, but I believe I have everything ready now… I hope. If not, I’ll have two days when I get back to work to take care of it. No pressure there.
I decided to take this vacation, really a stay-cation, because I have been exhausted for weeks, staying up too late, having to get up early in the morning, and upon learning of this event, staying much too late at work. My life has gotten out of kilter and I desperately needed to right it again, and with my class start date looming, I really wanted to get a handle on things before hand.
I never made it to the gym all of last week, with the pressure I had to have my work in order before my vacation. I was surprised to see how much I missed that. I have to admit that while there was so much pressure and trepidation about the locker room when I first started going during the day, I now enjoy it and having a break from my work while I take care of myself. Except for last week, I have been more consistent with going to the gym since I started the mid-day routine than ever before. And I even enjoy taking a shower in the locker room there. It’s a refresher in the middle of the work-day and it’s liberating to have gotten over my fears. (Plus it saves on my water bill at home.)
On Friday, I did finally take a little break from the work craziness to have coffee with my friend John (John H). Saturday was laundry day and Sunday I hung out with Lil’B. It was still rather chilly and I had designs on going to the movies. We haven’t yet seen Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. I’m a BIG kid and I love those kinds of movies so I’ve been looking forward to it since I saw the first previews. When I arrived at Lil’B’s house I asked him what he wanted to do that day and he said, “Miniature Golf.” Hmmm. OK.
So we went to play miniature golf while I was dressed/prepared for a chilly movie theater. Green “painters” pants (green pants with deliberately laid out paint spots on the front) and a black t-shirt. The jean jacket got left in the car. There was no sun screen. One of these days I’ll learn to bring along the sun screen just in case. The weather was actually quite nice where the mini-golf place was.
After I dropped Lil’B off, I went over to my friends John H and John M’s house. I think it’s cute that they both are named John, but John H says they always know who is being addressed. (I have to admit that I once had a passing crush on a guy named Kevin and thought it would’ve been funny if we’d ended up together. Then again, I was also engaged to a girl named Kerri and she thought it was “too sweet” that we would be Kevin and Kerri. She meant “too sweet” in a bad way.) The John’s and I had a wonderful dinner of Baked Ziti and Sourdough bread with an incredible blueberry and cherry tart that “John threw together while I was in the shower,” John H told me. I left at about 10:30 and called it a night.
One of my objectives for this time off work is to get my body clock back on a decent schedule. If I plan to continue to go to the gym during the work day and still work 8-ish hours, I’ve got to do better about getting to work “on time-ish”, especially on class days. So I wasn’t too dismayed by having scheduled DirecTV to come and install new service at my house “between 8 and noon” on Monday. Much to Mischa’s dismay, I pretty much went straight to bed when I got home and got up at 7:30 Monday morning. Not early enough, but it was a start. I won’t spend too much time harping on this, but DirecTV quite successfully managed to turn me from being a big fan/major proponent of their service to a stark hater who will tell everyone I ever meet (where the subject comes up) NEVER TO USE DIRECTV SERVICES, EVAR!!
Very quickly, I was a DirecTV customer for 5 years and canceled my service 6 months ago in favor of AT&T U-verse because of cost. I don’t really love the AT&T product and will still maintain that the actual product offered by DirecTV is better, but I will never use them again. Three years ago when I moved into my current home, the same day as my downstairs neighbors in this duplex moved in, I had the DirecTV service installed. My installer had been here and at work for about an hour before another installer showed up to do the installation for my downstairs neighbors. The two installers made the determination that they could provide both of us with service using only one satellite dish and splitting the signal between the two units. This made everyone (most of all, our landlady) happy. I explained this set-up to the operator when I placed the order to re-instate my service and he said it was great.
When the installer showed up here on Monday, at 11:55 he informed me that he could not do this but instead he had to install a second dish on the house. I told him that was not an option and he said he couldn’t do what I was asking. After speaking with the installer, and his supervisor, via telephone, and then a dispatcher in his office, I got conflicting answers about code regulations and DirecTV policy (the installation company is a third party) and various other, conflicting and contradictory reasons. Finally I called DirecTV directly and after explaining my situation six times and being told that they needed to transfer me to “The right department” I finally got one very pleasant young lady who took the time to investigate properly. After 52 minutes on the phone with DirecTV I was informed that they absolutely can do what I’m asking them to do, but that it’s at the discretion of the installation tech whether he will do it. The best advice she could give me was that I should call the installer back and tell them this. I was waiting for a call from a supervisor from that company anyway and when it hadn’t come in over 90 minutes (I told them I needed a call “right away” about what they planned to do because “my entire day is now on hold waiting for you”) I called them again.
I called the install company back and was disconnected right after they answered the phone. I called again and the phone rang twice and then there was nothing but static and crackling on the line. I called a third time and got an answer but the person sounded like he was across the room from the phone and the static and crackling were still there. I explained that I was expecting a call from the supervisor and he insisted on knowing what it was about before sending my information on. I explained the information I had gotten from DirecTV to him and then he seemed to disappear for a moment. When he came back I couldn’t understand what he was saying and the best I could come up with was that he was e-mailing the supervisor this information. After giving the operator an earful about how horrible their service is, how terrible their phone system is and how they’re making me question my decision to come back to DirecTV I told him that I expected the call from the supervisor within one hour. If I did not hear from him within one our I was going to cancel my order.
When one hour ended, I called DirecTV back for one sole purpose. I explained my entire situation, yet again, to “the right person” and I explained to her that I was just about finished. I told her that I was calling to cancel my order, but before I did, I wanted to give them one last-ditch opportunity to try to save my business, because based on my own experiences, I was of the opinion that DirecTV has the best product on the market and I had once been a satisfied DirecTV customer. She confirmed that everything I had been told was true but that it is up to the install company whether they would do it. She said that she could not order them to do the install the way I wanted. I made it very clear that if they didn’t I was going to cancel my order and she wasn’t going to budge. Finally, I said, “OK, well then let me give you my order number so you can cancel my order.” Without a flinch, or a hint of apology, she said, “Sure!” and put me on hold. A few minutes later she came back, told me the order was canceled and asked if there was anything else she could do for me. I said, “No! I’m just really disappointed to find that you don’t care any more than that to keep your customers.” Again, without an apology she said, “OK, have a nice day.”
I guess that wasn’t so brief, but you know me, once I get started…
The one bright point to that story is that while I was waiting for the installer and arguing with the people on the phone, I also made a huge dent in the mess that is my apartment. I went through a bunch of papers and disposed of what I could, separating the rest to be filed away (which I still need to do). I did a little bit of organizing and putting stuff away. I really made a good start. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get started again since.
Tuesday, I got up with a plan. I was out of bed by 6:45. I spent the morning, taking care of some computer stuff I needed to do, while mentally planning my day. I was going to leave home by 10:30 to go to the gym, spend 45 minutes doing cardio, take a shower (I wanted to compare the locker room and showers to the gym by my office) and then head toward my therapists office in Berkeley for our 2:00 appointment, getting lunch along the way. I got a late start leaving for the gym. I was all ready to go when… My coffee kicked in. There are few things I hate more than pooping at the gym so I was late heading out. I got to the gym at about 12:20 and by the time I found a locker, and unpacked my gym bag, I really only had about 20 minutes for my cardio before I had to take my shower. I went back into the locker room at about 1:05 and was dressed and leaving the gym by 1:30.
When I got into the car, I noticed I had a voice mail on my cell phone. It was Deb, wondering where I was since I was 15 minutes late for our 1:00 appointment. I called her back, but of course there was no way I was going to arrive before our hour was up. I mentioned something to her about how I had it at 1:00 in my calendar, but in my mind it was “at our regular time of 2:00.” She pointed out that 1:00 is our regular time, which, of course, it is… Vacation brain fart! One hundred dollars down the drain.
I headed to Berkeley anyway, because I had other plans for after our appointment. After a quick stop off at Taco Bell, I went to the tattoo shop where I got my last piece done to look through their books for inspiration and to ask about piercing. They don’t do piercing and I didn’t find any inspiration in their books, but they did refer me to another tattoo shop a mile up the street that does piercing, and with only a minimal amount of trepidation, and after many months (years) of consideration, I had this done:
Somebody needs a shave!
The upper one. Obviously my lobe has been done for a while. They said this will take 2-3 months to heal, but once it does, I’ll replace the stud with some sort of hoop. The piercing itself really didn’t hurt, despite what I’d been told by some. It was a little more tender after I left the shop, a kind of delayed reaction, but that didn’t really last all that long and then it was fine. It’s a little ouchy while doing the cleaning routine, but for the most part I can’t even feel it, unless I bump it accidentally (doesn’t even hurt to lie on it at night. Even the back of the post doesn’t poke into my head, which I thought it would.)
Today, I– Well, I ended up sort of wasting the day. I got up at 6:30 and putted around the house for a while, taking care of social networking stuff and doing my daily Fish Wrangler tournament. I watched an episode of Glee and then I headed out around 10:00 for a… personal grooming appointment… followed by a small amount of shopping and lunch. Even less shopping than I had planned since I had the good sense to check the status of my checking account before I spent too much money.
So that gets us all caught up. Sorry my vacation stories aren’t more exciting….
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and, somehow, soak my ear in salt water (part of the cleaning regimen.) This should be entertaining!
It was never my intention for this blog to become a place for political ravings or even social commentary on the world around me, but sometimes things drop into my lap that just blow me away and I can’t seem to help myself; I must comment.
Yesterday I posted the new story about the twenty million dollar settlement that was reached between the hopelessly, cripplingly broke state of California and the family of a woman who was the unfortunate victim of a deranged sexual molester after she was taken from her family at the age of 12 and held captive for 18 years by a man who was neither the owner of, nor an employee of the hopelessly, cripplingly broke state of California.
Not one hour after I posted that unsolicited rant to my blog, this came to my attention:
Now, I can understand the thinking behind lowering employees salaries, temporarily, in the midst of a budgetary crisis. I know it would suck, a lot, to be one of those 200,000 workers whose salary was suddenly and without warning cut by more than 75%, but I can understand the reasoning behind it. But get this, Governor Schwarzenegger isn’t just cutting people’s salaries to minimum wage; oh no, he’s cutting it to the Federal Minimum Wage. The Federal Minimum Wage is $7.25 an hour. In California, the state minimum wage is $8.00 an hour and there are many counties with a cost of living differential where the minimum wage is even higher.
This means that not only will we be paying our valuable state workers minimum wage, but we’ll be paying them even less money than the pimply faced teenagers sacking their groceries down at the Piggly Wiggly. And if that weren’t insult enough, this news was announced on the same day that it was announced that the state is just going to hand over a $20,000,000 check to one individual who was victimized by one individual who was not acting on behalf of the state in any way!
I was going through my Twitter time line earlier today when I happened across a link to this story:
This young woman, as you can surmise from the brief article above was abducted years ago and held captive for 18 years before turning up last year. She was held captive by this man and sexually abused many times resulting in two pregnancies. It is, of course a terribly sad story. But twenty million dollars?!? From the state?!? Seriously?!? Come on!!!
In case no one has been paying attention, the state of California is B-R-O-K-E, broke!!! The state government is billions of dollars in the red! Government workers are being laid off right and left! You know, the people in those insignificant little jobs like POLICE & FIRE Departments. Last year Governor Schwartzi-whatsit increased taxes all over the place on all kinds of things just to try to repair the government budgetary crisis. I paid over $600.00 last year just to register my cars! Granted I paid for my old car registration in June, just to turn around and trade it in for a new car in November, but still; $600.00!!!
And let us not forget where all this money the government doesn’t have comes from, shall we? IT COMES FROM ME!!! And all the people like me who are working hard just trying to scrape by on the meager salaries we earn. And now some Yahoos in Sacramento thinks it’s justifiable to give $20 million of my hard-earned money to the family of this girl, just because she was abducted by a crazy, sexual predator? The family somehow see’s this as justice? Give me a break!!!
You want justice, do whatever you can to make sure the man who did this to your daughter is prosecuted and convicted and sent to prison. That’s justice! $20M of the taxpayers money to “compensate” you for what happened to your daughter? How is that Justice? Not only is it not justice for you and your family, but now you’re just as guilty of rape as he is! You’re guilty of financially raping the decent, honest, tax paying citizens of your state! Really! Thanks a lot Dugard family! Awesome!
Riggledo 